i can’t think straight.

The only way to understand God’s presence is to also experience his absence. 

“Is mankind forever destined to a destitute of forgotten pain and sorrow.” These are the words our enemies will say to us. They will remark, “Perhaps their King is nothing but a soul of false promise and regard!”

And how must we answer their falsities you may ask? It’s quite simple. The utterance of the name of a man whose death bore nothing more than light itself. As if his absence, and return, allowed darkness to flee and light to become the very thing in which our souls could DANCE. That is all I hope to do. Dance with your soul till my life becomes a promise of what it truly should be. 

What does it mean to truly “know” reality?

• It’s something deeper than just “seeing.” I’m not sure where our concept of reality must be grounded in other than how we see and feel this world, so it must be real. But are ghosts real? People see them, does that make them real or fake? Is my interpretation of reality bound by others' thoughts or my own? Hm. 

A response to Nietzsche’s statement of God being a course and obvious answer - a lack of delicacy towards us thinkers - a course command saying, thou shalt not think. 

• It takes more thought to see every reason why someone would disbelieve, and to find yourself back at the point of creative and divine interpretation of the world. Darkness exists, yet light still holds the space. If I am to understand the “evil” and “coarseness” of the world, then perhaps there would be something smooth and good in it as well, as there must always be an opposite. Even science points to this, every reaction must have an equal and opposite reaction, as the statement goes. And if that is the case, if there is evil, there must also be good. If there is no thinking, there must also be thinking. There is nothing course and lacking delicacy in the way we believe in God. There is something beautiful in the painstaking nature of reading a book fostered and provided by divine inspiration, in a sense at least. Thou shalt not think is a command given to people who have no concept  of ignorance, as they will blindly chase whatever their leader tells them, rather believing in God, in any sort of higher power points directly to a depth of thought that restricts it from being lacking delicacy. If there was nothing to find, why should we even bother to search? There is so much delicacy in that statement isn’t there? How shall my soul have found darkness before if there wasn’t light to chase in the first place? There is more to be explored here. Hm. 

Creation for the sake of creation bends our will into something less than what we truly try to create. If our souls are meaningful because we say they are, then what is to say our thoughts actually hold validity. There is something purposeful about the way we organize our thoughts and our deities in our lives. The way we crash and burn into this masterful loss of focus in how we build our own hierarchies of thought. Perhaps, this is the pain we are born with and forced to bear. 

I see the grooves in the air, it waves to me. 

There is darkness in the eyes of them

And light in the air reflects the way I wish I could focus on their souls. 

Why do these people exist

What is the point of every person’s life here

It’s confusing why my life is but nothing except what we make it 

Wait no

That’s not how that works is it

i just had to write.