Aesthetics?
The idea of an “aesthetic” within fashion and architecture is something that has really interested me in the past couple months. Going back to school, I’ve seen how teens use school itself as an opportunity to push an idea a bit. Myself included. I think the idea of an aesthetic gives people the opportunity to spread a bit of creativity in how they present themselves.
The main driving force behind this evolution of the “aesthetic” is, in my estimation, simply down to the evolution of music itself. During the 60s, music was meant for an aesthetic. Although that idea might have aged out in terms of fashion and things of that nature, it has held true in the music industry. Gone are the days where music is meant to simply be listened to. Now you are meant to feel, either in a good or bad way, the emotion of music.I listen to music that is meant to capture an aesthetic. At least in my own mind that is what it captures.
I think of music like this. If I can close my eyes and float. In a black space. With a white light illuminating the words around me. With the vibration of the music radiating throughout my ears. With the words pushing my thoughts in a particular direction. That essence of thought that a song gives me is something I push for in how I dress myself. I’m not trying to push a certain fashion statement or present myself in some upscale way. I just want to float. In everything I do, the idea of floating through nothingness is what drives my creative juice. It’s infected the way I write. If I can’t float within the idea of what I am writing then I know it isn’t going to be something I care that much about. I ran into this in a school essay recently. I knew what I needed to say to get a good grade, but the writing wasn’t something I cared all that much about. I wasn't going to float.
To bring this back to the idea of aesthetics, music has captured the essence of fashion. From songs like “White Ferrari” or even something like Billie Eilish’s “Happier Than Ever”, the entire album that surrounds those songs is an “aesthetic”. And the reason I keep putting that word in quotations is simple. I have a definition of what an “aesthetic” is and I use that in order to capture the way I view certain creative ventures. An aesthetic is simply the creative output in a certain vein of thought. For me, that’s the idea of floating through nothingness. For others it isn’t that but something else. But, no matter where your creative ideas flow out to, the exponential output that comes with viewing your work through an aesthetic can be freeing in some cases, but also very limiting in others.
For me, if I am constantly pushing for that perfect idea that will capture my dream in the moment, I might never find it. And my work will suffer because of that. Maybe this happens for musicians, but when the ideas disappear and you can’t find that flow state that happens to make me float in most cases, the entire idea of an aesthetic seems quite useless. And that’s the danger of viewing all creativity through that lens. If you are constantly chasing an idea that isn’t real, then sometimes you won’t find anything.
To be completely honest, the idea of this story isn’t really causing any part of the flow state for me. I’m not floating in nothingness while writing this. But, I think that’s exactly why it was worth writing. It allowed me to express the simplicity of the “aesthetic” or the creative output in a simplified manner that didn’t cause me to search for that aesthetic. I’m not trying to push any certain idea of the aesthetic upon anyone. But, in searching for my own aesthetic I have found the inherent danger of looking too deeply in one place. That leaves me closed off to so many influences.
Architecture mirrors culture in most situations. That’s why in the 60s we began to see the illusion of wild thoughts expressed throughout buildings and houses around the world. We began to care about the intersection of art, culture, and nature in a cohesive manner. That entire idea seems to have been pushed to the forefront of what the aesthetic is. And yet, I don't know if I fully subscribe to that idea. When culture influences society it normally comes from a place of looking too far forward. Or in some cases, too far back. But, in the vein of an aesthetic, from fashion, to stories, to architecture, sometimes nature and the world around us can create something that the other sectors of creativity can build off of.
To wrap this thought experiment up, I thought it would be fitting to finish with a description of my room.
I’m writing this in pitch black. My screen is on its lowest setting. My paper is black and the words are white, as contrast creates chaos which creates creativity. Or so my mind might want to think. My bed has 5 pillows on it. Two of which I sit up when I write. One of which sits on the side of my bed against the wall and seems to sit in silence waiting for me to actually put it under my head at night. The other two pillows are decorative. They are larger and almost always find themselves on the floor at the end of my bed, which happens to be right next to my bookshelf which holds over 200 books, half of which I haven’t read yet. Above the bookshelf on the left sits a wall with photos of Paris which happens to be right next to a window that overlooks the forest to the outside of my house. The photos of Paris counter the inevitable chaos that sits around my room. Papers line the floor with thoughts I had at midnight last night etched in odd pencil marks and ink spills. My clothes from the last week happen to be scattered on IKEA chairs and my desk which holds a couple books and pens from last year looks on in utter disarray. As I write this I understand that my room is something I care about. And yet, I don’t. The idea of nothingness has captivated the way I decorate. And maybe that’s the issue with aesthetics in my own world. I want to float, and the mirror that sits above my dresser that’s covered with more clothes and books, next to a drawer that is sat upward, with newspaper clippings plastered to the bottom and my trophies and medals from my soccer career scattered among it all has caused me to think a bit harder about the way I look. The way I dream. The way I want to move among the world. Music from my headphones playing from odd radio playlists on Spotify seem to echo the dreams of a world I haven’t achieved yet. And maybe that’s the whole reason I write. Maybe that’s the whole reason my room is perpetually messy, but never dirty. Maybe that’s why my world is so captivated by the way music captures the essence of an aesthetic. And maybe that’s why I try so hard to write late at night after listening to music for an hour that’s meant to cause me to dream a bit harder about a world I want to live in. Maybe, or maybe this thought experiment is too odd for anyone to understand. But in any case, I still have over a 100 books to finish by the time I move out to college and beyond, and I still have chores to do in the morning. And an essay to turn in tomorrow. And so many things that counter the idea of an aesthetic, and yet I chase it.
I chase it.
